Those promised thoughts and reflections

I've given considerable thought to the emotional and psychological results of our mini-orgy. Objectively, the evening went perfectly--everybody got exactly what they wanted. Subjectively, I cannot call it perfect, but overwhelmingly positive.

During the scene itself, I was surprised to feel no jealousy or distress. In fact, those acts that most worried me beforehand (Estrella kissing and/or having regular ol' vag-pen sex with another man) seemed to turn me on the most. I suspect causality there, but I'm not sure in which direction. I was nervous beforehand, but a couple drinks calmed me right down, and the nerves seemed directly related to it being our first time.

I think the only thing that bothered me at all was Roger slapping Estrella's ass. While I certainly do the same thing myself, she consented beforehand, and seemed to love every minute of it, my immediate reaction was still one of anger toward Roger. Split second, lasting only as long as the echo of the smack. It was more of a desire to protect Estrella than anything.

We talked about kissing Roger before we met up with him. I said that I had little desire to kiss anyone but Estrella. She expressed a similar sentiment. However, when I returned from the bathroom at the bar, she asked me if it would be alright. I consented, and was relatively glad I did. My underlying philosophy is that if she's okay with it, so am I.

While this was my first time with multiple partners, I had given it some considerable thought beforehand. Furthermore, I've observed a number of couples in their swinging. It seems to me that arbitrary lists of outlawed sexual acts, rules merely for the sake of having "something that is just ours", will inevitably be violated. The result of this infraction tends to be a great feeling of injury on the part of the, uh, violated party. Since it seems to me that love has rather more to do with a lifetime partnership than it has to do with sharing a rimjob, I say toss the rules.

So far, the only rules we've come up with are: 1) condoms for everything but oral, 2) only while we're both there (or in the adjoining bathroom or whatever). We have a hand gesture for discrete negative responses to questions. I want to develop a bit more of a code for covert negotiation of another person's acceptability, but that's hardly a rule.

Only the requirement that we both be present restricts our activities. However, at this stage of the game, I certainly think it protects us from potential ruin. I have no interest in breaking this rule at the present time. And, I think I'd probably forgive Estrella, so long as she posted all the details here. So, I'm not concerned about potential fallout from breakage of arbitrary rules.

I've had three days at this point to think about Saturday. Nothing is cropping up. I don't feel dirty or revolted; not the slightest little bit of a puritanical, conditioned response. I find the entire memory pleasant, and have quite enjoyed thinking, talking to Estrella, and writing about it.

We've had sex several times since our encounter with Roger. It's all been quite good, as always. We've always had a kinky, rewarding sex life, so I didn't really expect that to change. But, there was some slight worry that sex without other folks might fall flat. It doesn't. Estrella is just as sexy and gorgeous lying back by herself as she is sucking some stranger's cock.

This blog is sort of a compromise between my exhibitionism, and Estrella's desire for the opposite. If I had my druthers, I guess I'd be posting lots of pictures and video. But, that won't happen. Instead, just a couple noms-de-plumes and some really raunchy prose.