Estrella, not an hour ago, fucked my ass with a strapon for a considerable period. My ass, naturally, got sore after a while. So, I rolled her over and fucked her pussy at a gently increasing pace for a long time, until we were finally slamming our hips together.
It was some damn fine sex.
And yet I just jerked off all over this mad hot blog. Literally.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The Porns
- Probably not Marilyn Monroe. But that's fine.
- Everybody loves a tranny. Both she and the biogirl are mad hot.
- Pretty nice, even if there aren't enough cocks.
- A little boring at points, but definitely four real folks just fucking.
- Aw, how stereotypical. But they mix it up pretty nicely toward the end. Simmer on it.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Roger, and some thoughts
I have had some time to both think about my own feelings and to discuss them at great length with Oscar. When we began to look for a couple (instead of just an extra cock) I said I would be fine with a bi female, and that Oscar could even indicate that I was bi for our posting to craigslist. I rationalized it to myself saying that I had experimented with women before at a younger age and had even dated one lady. However, once we had actually met the couple I started having misgivings. Susan is an absolutely gorgeous woman, tall and beautifully proportioned. But I wasn't sure I could actually do sexual acts with her.
I was also put off by her reserved nature. While Konrad was forthright and made multiple mentions of sexual acts, Susan never once made any overtly sexual statement. She seemed quite content just discussing the mundane everyday life. I was unsure how willing she was in this situation. After getting burned at the sex club before, I was a little more cautious. Her lack of enthusiasm for the whole situation made me skeptical. That, combined with their delays, led me to think it was not going anywhere, and thus, I lost my own enthusiasm. Considering that we are moving shortly, I did not want to put so much effort into creating a relationship with someone that I would never see after a month.
So, onto our night with Roger. He was at our house at ten pm, but we only kept him there for around two hours. He knew there was a potential for interruption, but we were all hoping it wouldn't become an issue. The evening began with a bit of idle chit-chat, and then progressed, as it usually does, with Oscar taking off his clothing. His love of nudity and lack of self consciousness makes it far easier to initiate a sexual situation. I was wearing a silk robe with a set of black undergarments, which included my absolute favorite pair of black lacy underwear. Roger liked them as well. With Oscar on one side and Roger on the other, I stroked both of their cocks while they sucked on my nipples. Roger is cut, and Oscar is not, so the navigation of two different cocks at once was made slightly more difficult. Oscar began gobbling Roger's cock while I provided our guest with a set of tits to suck and grope. After a few minutes of satisfied slurping, Oscar moved off for a break while Roger donned a condom. For the first time in our three meetings, I rode him. Before I began dating Oscar, riding cock seemed like an impossible skill only possible if one is a lithe porn star. However, after experimenting with Oscar and learning how to properly gyrate my hips, I learned the motions that create pleasurable sensations in my partner's loins.
While I was straddling Roger, Oscar approached with a new brand of condom (Trojan's version of polyurethane-I am amazed that with the prevalence of latex allergies, the condom industry remains dependent on latex). I was surprised, as we normally do not use condoms and Roger's ass was firmly lodged under my pussy. However, I soon understood his idea. He began by trying to double penetrate me, but the angles were not working out in our favor. He then plunged into my ass, pounding away at me and Roger at the same time. I was able to see-saw my hips so that when Oscar withdrew, I could impale myself entirely on Roger's cock. After a few minutes of sweaty grinding, my ass was feeling tender, so I hopped off the couch to the shower to cool off.
While I was away, I could hear Oscar devouring Roger's erection. When I arrived back in the living room, however, both of the men were lying on their backs. Apparently, Roger had gone limp in my absence. This was disappointing to Oscar, who was eagerly anticipating some ass-sex. After a quick discussion about the existence/role of fluffers in the porn industry, I began to suck Roger's cock to get him hard again. He obliged, and was soon ready to go. No sooner did he roll a condom onto his firm dick, his cell phone went off indicating that he had to leave us. As he got dressed, Oscar was lying perpendicular to me with my legs draped over him. He used that as an opportunity to fuck me, in what I call "lazy position". He grabbed my thighs and ground himself into me.
After Roger had let himself out Oscar asked me to suck him off. He washed his cock to clean off the thick layer of pussy juice, which I am not very fond of tasting (smelling is okay, but tasting often makes me gag). He attempted to fuck my mouth from behind my head to facilitate deep throating. The angles were a bit off, especially because my mouth was tired from so much cock sucking. He flipped over on to his back, and I buried my head in his crotch, taking in his entire hard dick. I wanted to get him off quickly, using some new found skills of mine. Early in our relationship, Oscar always complemented my skills at fellatio, but I was frustrated because I almost never got him off. I enjoy swallowing cum, so this usually left me with the feeling of defeat. Oscar recently told me how I always bring him to the brink of orgasm, but then I pause or change what I'm doing and he loses his steam. He clarified the difference between "giving head", at which I was adept, versus "giving a blow job" which results in him blowing his load. I hadn't realized that I had been so close to accomplishing my goal, so I made a resolution to try harder. This night was no exception. I gave him what he has deemed either the best or the second best blow job he has ever gotten (the other one in this competition had been performed only a few nights prior). As he shot cum down my throat, it marked his third orgasm of the day, which is a feat we hadn't accomplished in several months.
After Roger left, we discussed the possibility that perhaps our play partner is not "truly" bi. His cock went limp as Oscar was sucking it in a manner that Oscar tells me only happens when someone isn't really into the situation. It also happened while I was away in the shower, unable to stimulate Roger's libido with my nudity. I agree with Oscar, as I had my own theories about this before last night. Oscar admitted that he felt slightly off "bartering" sex with me for his own gratification. I had several thoughts on the subject: Oscar is my love so I'd gladly do many things for his pleasure and it's not as though I am being forced into sex with Roger (I enjoy it and participate willingly). I don't believe Roger is truly straight, and I think that he is definitely able to get tail on his own without having to barter for it with gay sex. He is just not quite "gay enough". His failure to service Oscar's asshole has been noted and I am less willing to hook up with him unless he fucks Oscar first next time. I would like to ensure that my man is happy. Plus, Oscar has one of the hottest asses I have ever found on a man, so someone with any inclination to top would be a fool to pass up an opportunity to tap it. But perhaps I am biased.
I was also put off by her reserved nature. While Konrad was forthright and made multiple mentions of sexual acts, Susan never once made any overtly sexual statement. She seemed quite content just discussing the mundane everyday life. I was unsure how willing she was in this situation. After getting burned at the sex club before, I was a little more cautious. Her lack of enthusiasm for the whole situation made me skeptical. That, combined with their delays, led me to think it was not going anywhere, and thus, I lost my own enthusiasm. Considering that we are moving shortly, I did not want to put so much effort into creating a relationship with someone that I would never see after a month.
So, onto our night with Roger. He was at our house at ten pm, but we only kept him there for around two hours. He knew there was a potential for interruption, but we were all hoping it wouldn't become an issue. The evening began with a bit of idle chit-chat, and then progressed, as it usually does, with Oscar taking off his clothing. His love of nudity and lack of self consciousness makes it far easier to initiate a sexual situation. I was wearing a silk robe with a set of black undergarments, which included my absolute favorite pair of black lacy underwear. Roger liked them as well. With Oscar on one side and Roger on the other, I stroked both of their cocks while they sucked on my nipples. Roger is cut, and Oscar is not, so the navigation of two different cocks at once was made slightly more difficult. Oscar began gobbling Roger's cock while I provided our guest with a set of tits to suck and grope. After a few minutes of satisfied slurping, Oscar moved off for a break while Roger donned a condom. For the first time in our three meetings, I rode him. Before I began dating Oscar, riding cock seemed like an impossible skill only possible if one is a lithe porn star. However, after experimenting with Oscar and learning how to properly gyrate my hips, I learned the motions that create pleasurable sensations in my partner's loins.
While I was straddling Roger, Oscar approached with a new brand of condom (Trojan's version of polyurethane-I am amazed that with the prevalence of latex allergies, the condom industry remains dependent on latex). I was surprised, as we normally do not use condoms and Roger's ass was firmly lodged under my pussy. However, I soon understood his idea. He began by trying to double penetrate me, but the angles were not working out in our favor. He then plunged into my ass, pounding away at me and Roger at the same time. I was able to see-saw my hips so that when Oscar withdrew, I could impale myself entirely on Roger's cock. After a few minutes of sweaty grinding, my ass was feeling tender, so I hopped off the couch to the shower to cool off.
While I was away, I could hear Oscar devouring Roger's erection. When I arrived back in the living room, however, both of the men were lying on their backs. Apparently, Roger had gone limp in my absence. This was disappointing to Oscar, who was eagerly anticipating some ass-sex. After a quick discussion about the existence/role of fluffers in the porn industry, I began to suck Roger's cock to get him hard again. He obliged, and was soon ready to go. No sooner did he roll a condom onto his firm dick, his cell phone went off indicating that he had to leave us. As he got dressed, Oscar was lying perpendicular to me with my legs draped over him. He used that as an opportunity to fuck me, in what I call "lazy position". He grabbed my thighs and ground himself into me.
After Roger had let himself out Oscar asked me to suck him off. He washed his cock to clean off the thick layer of pussy juice, which I am not very fond of tasting (smelling is okay, but tasting often makes me gag). He attempted to fuck my mouth from behind my head to facilitate deep throating. The angles were a bit off, especially because my mouth was tired from so much cock sucking. He flipped over on to his back, and I buried my head in his crotch, taking in his entire hard dick. I wanted to get him off quickly, using some new found skills of mine. Early in our relationship, Oscar always complemented my skills at fellatio, but I was frustrated because I almost never got him off. I enjoy swallowing cum, so this usually left me with the feeling of defeat. Oscar recently told me how I always bring him to the brink of orgasm, but then I pause or change what I'm doing and he loses his steam. He clarified the difference between "giving head", at which I was adept, versus "giving a blow job" which results in him blowing his load. I hadn't realized that I had been so close to accomplishing my goal, so I made a resolution to try harder. This night was no exception. I gave him what he has deemed either the best or the second best blow job he has ever gotten (the other one in this competition had been performed only a few nights prior). As he shot cum down my throat, it marked his third orgasm of the day, which is a feat we hadn't accomplished in several months.
After Roger left, we discussed the possibility that perhaps our play partner is not "truly" bi. His cock went limp as Oscar was sucking it in a manner that Oscar tells me only happens when someone isn't really into the situation. It also happened while I was away in the shower, unable to stimulate Roger's libido with my nudity. I agree with Oscar, as I had my own theories about this before last night. Oscar admitted that he felt slightly off "bartering" sex with me for his own gratification. I had several thoughts on the subject: Oscar is my love so I'd gladly do many things for his pleasure and it's not as though I am being forced into sex with Roger (I enjoy it and participate willingly). I don't believe Roger is truly straight, and I think that he is definitely able to get tail on his own without having to barter for it with gay sex. He is just not quite "gay enough". His failure to service Oscar's asshole has been noted and I am less willing to hook up with him unless he fucks Oscar first next time. I would like to ensure that my man is happy. Plus, Oscar has one of the hottest asses I have ever found on a man, so someone with any inclination to top would be a fool to pass up an opportunity to tap it. But perhaps I am biased.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Roger's Coming Over
Estrella and I have retreated to safe territory. Roger will be here in two hours.
I can't wait to get some dick. And, of course, become a literal cuckold. This will be the first adulteration of our marriage.
I can't wait to get some dick. And, of course, become a literal cuckold. This will be the first adulteration of our marriage.
New Toy: Aneros Progasm
Last Friday, we had time to kill downtown, and so wandered into a sex shop. It's a pretty well-stocked one, with plenty of porn, and a nice selection of toys. And, since it's in the middle of Gayville, most of the toys are appropriate to the male anatomy.
They have all manner of ass toys, from tiny beads no bigger than those at Mardi Gras, all the way up to the 9" diameter plug whose only imaginable purpose must be as a paperweight. And, they had the Aneros Prograsm. So, given how much Estrella loves for my ass to have fun, she bought it for me. Then she hid it in her purse, and we met our friends for drinks.
After drinks with friends (and one of our boring meetings with Konrad and Susan), we returned home. Of course, the first thing I wanted was to play with my new toy.
I have a number of ass plugs, so I'm no stranger to convincing plastic to inhabit my anus. The Progasm, however, slid in with astonishing ease. The material is a hard plastic, which would probably suck for insertion if it hadn't also been far smoother than any other plug I have. After it went in, it settled down in precisely the position they said it would: with the tip of the phallus on my prostate. I don't know that I can actually feel the little taint and kundalini beads, but they do help to hold the phallus in the right location.
The directions say that you should avoid penile stimulation while playing with the toy. Specifically, they suggest that you not touch the Progasm or yourself at all while playing with it. The idea is to use contractions of your anal sphincter to rub the tip along your prostate.
I didn't pay attention to these suggestions for the first night. Instead, I had Estrella suck my cock while wiggling the toy with her fingers. Then, I went ahead and flipped her over on all fours and took her from behind. The geometry of the Progasm does all sorts of joyous things to one's prostate, regardless of what you're doing to your cock. The involuntary contractions in that region caused by Estrella's expert fellatio and slimy pussy caused the tip of the toy to rub most exquisitely. A lot closer to being assfucked than any other butt-plug I've ever tried. However, I didn't really see what the fuss was about.
This week, on Tuesday and Thursday (aka, Masturbation Night), I tried playing with the Progasm in the manner recommended by the manufacturers. The first time, I drew a bath, inserted the toy, and laid down in the water trying to concentrate on my sensations. While it definitely felt neat, and I was starting to get the point, I got bored pretty quickly. I tugged myself off after only a few minutes.
Yesterday, however, I tried a different plan. I lubed it up and stuffed the Progasm in my ass, put on a terry-cloth robe, and returned to the couch. There, I watched porn and absolutely refused to touch myself. The porn really helped. Prostate massage gets pretty boring, and sometimes uncomfortable, if I'm insufficiently aroused. Without porn (or a partner), I find it difficult to maintain sexual arousal during self abuse unless I'm beating a straight path to the goal. With the porn to refocus my attention on the sexual (instead of my mind drifting to, say, shortest-path algorithms), I found it far easier to maintain a long, leisurely session.
What a difference.
With sufficient time to build up the charge, and sufficient self-control to keep from touching myself, the Progasm is a fucking exemplary sex toy. It's rare that a sex toy actually unlocks a sensation that's difficult to create without it. An assplug feels roughly like a finger, just a little wider; a dildo feels roughly like a cock, just not as compliant; etc. However, I don't think that I've actually felt before the sort of "prostate orgasm" that I almost achieved last night. Estrella has given me a prostate massage that resulted in me leaking fluid in a long, ropey stream from my cock. But, I didn't even feel it at the time--she had to tell me what was happening.
With the Progasm, I definitely felt it. I think it's the feedback. You tense your anus, which pulls the Progasm up along your prostate, which makes your cock jump, with tightens your prostate, which pushes the Progasm out a bit, which causes you to tense your anus again. Get that rhythm right, with just enough pressure, and away you go.
But, it's closer to meditation than masturbation. Distractions and partners seem to make it too difficult for me to maintain the concentration necessary to get it working. Well, distractions, partners, and the uncontrollable urge to stroke it.
They have all manner of ass toys, from tiny beads no bigger than those at Mardi Gras, all the way up to the 9" diameter plug whose only imaginable purpose must be as a paperweight. And, they had the Aneros Prograsm. So, given how much Estrella loves for my ass to have fun, she bought it for me. Then she hid it in her purse, and we met our friends for drinks.
After drinks with friends (and one of our boring meetings with Konrad and Susan), we returned home. Of course, the first thing I wanted was to play with my new toy.
I have a number of ass plugs, so I'm no stranger to convincing plastic to inhabit my anus. The Progasm, however, slid in with astonishing ease. The material is a hard plastic, which would probably suck for insertion if it hadn't also been far smoother than any other plug I have. After it went in, it settled down in precisely the position they said it would: with the tip of the phallus on my prostate. I don't know that I can actually feel the little taint and kundalini beads, but they do help to hold the phallus in the right location.
The directions say that you should avoid penile stimulation while playing with the toy. Specifically, they suggest that you not touch the Progasm or yourself at all while playing with it. The idea is to use contractions of your anal sphincter to rub the tip along your prostate.
I didn't pay attention to these suggestions for the first night. Instead, I had Estrella suck my cock while wiggling the toy with her fingers. Then, I went ahead and flipped her over on all fours and took her from behind. The geometry of the Progasm does all sorts of joyous things to one's prostate, regardless of what you're doing to your cock. The involuntary contractions in that region caused by Estrella's expert fellatio and slimy pussy caused the tip of the toy to rub most exquisitely. A lot closer to being assfucked than any other butt-plug I've ever tried. However, I didn't really see what the fuss was about.
This week, on Tuesday and Thursday (aka, Masturbation Night), I tried playing with the Progasm in the manner recommended by the manufacturers. The first time, I drew a bath, inserted the toy, and laid down in the water trying to concentrate on my sensations. While it definitely felt neat, and I was starting to get the point, I got bored pretty quickly. I tugged myself off after only a few minutes.
Yesterday, however, I tried a different plan. I lubed it up and stuffed the Progasm in my ass, put on a terry-cloth robe, and returned to the couch. There, I watched porn and absolutely refused to touch myself. The porn really helped. Prostate massage gets pretty boring, and sometimes uncomfortable, if I'm insufficiently aroused. Without porn (or a partner), I find it difficult to maintain sexual arousal during self abuse unless I'm beating a straight path to the goal. With the porn to refocus my attention on the sexual (instead of my mind drifting to, say, shortest-path algorithms), I found it far easier to maintain a long, leisurely session.
What a difference.
With sufficient time to build up the charge, and sufficient self-control to keep from touching myself, the Progasm is a fucking exemplary sex toy. It's rare that a sex toy actually unlocks a sensation that's difficult to create without it. An assplug feels roughly like a finger, just a little wider; a dildo feels roughly like a cock, just not as compliant; etc. However, I don't think that I've actually felt before the sort of "prostate orgasm" that I almost achieved last night. Estrella has given me a prostate massage that resulted in me leaking fluid in a long, ropey stream from my cock. But, I didn't even feel it at the time--she had to tell me what was happening.
With the Progasm, I definitely felt it. I think it's the feedback. You tense your anus, which pulls the Progasm up along your prostate, which makes your cock jump, with tightens your prostate, which pushes the Progasm out a bit, which causes you to tense your anus again. Get that rhythm right, with just enough pressure, and away you go.
But, it's closer to meditation than masturbation. Distractions and partners seem to make it too difficult for me to maintain the concentration necessary to get it working. Well, distractions, partners, and the uncontrollable urge to stroke it.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
My Needs and Wants
I can't figure out quite why I'm so down about the prospects of our other-people-sexy-time. Estrella has explicitly said that she still has interest in pursuing it. She has expressed no regrets about our time with Roger, nor any more regret than I have about our adventures at the swinger's club. I can't figure out why I should feel this way.
I think that I fear that something I want or need will not come to me. Specifically, our compatibility with male-female couples seems to trouble me the most. But, I'm having trouble working out exactly what's going on. So, I'm trying to list each need and want that I can identify with regards to sex. Not the tiny details ("I want somebody pounding my ass while Estrella sucks my cock"), but the emotional needs. Then, I intend to work forward from this list to determine why I feel so worried.
These are in order of priority. Also note that these are not necessarily unfulfilled needs.
Needs:
Wants:
Assuming that we won't find a couple with whom both I and Estrella are willing to have sex, we're left with bisexual men, couples with bi men and straight girls, and the simple swap. I nominate Needs 2 & 5 and Wants 5, 6, & 7 as my fears in this situation.
I'm scared of le swap simple because of the apparent frequency at which men drag their unenthusiastic women into the scene. This seems coercive to me (Need 2). Likewise, a slip of the tongue toward what I'm really thinking ("your cock looks delicious") will end in tragedy most times in Swingerville (Need 5).
Despite lovin' the cock myself, I strongly suspect that many claimed male bisexuals who seek out couples don't actually have much interest in men. Rather I think they feel willing to endure sex with them if it means getting some pussy out of it. This seems dishonest on their end, but more importantly, feels like selling Estrella to get my ass plugged.
I can eliminate fears regarding consent and honesty on a case-by-case basis by spending enough time with secondary partners to get to know them. However, Estrella stated that she was turned off this last go partially because she didn't like the amount of time we spent having drinks and chatting with Konrad and Susan. Likewise, I feel like this distaste for spending time with people means that I'm unlikely to have the chance to feel much or any affection or intimacy with our partners. I can cope with that, but it seems suboptimal for my mental balance. I guess I'd rather like the people with whom I have sex, not simply find them physically acceptable.
Since I believe Estrella has placed sex on the side (not involving her) out of bounds, but has consented for me to have sex with another woman in her presence, male-female couples seem the best chance if I want sex with other women. A single woman seems ridiculous on the basis of liklihood: without hiring a hooker, I can't imagine actually finding a straight woman into a threesome with Estrella and I. I imagine there're plenty of women out there into pleasing a dude with his wife, ignoring her. But, I imagine that many more couples (men) are interested in this than single women who're into it. Supply and demand.
Me and two women has never been a fantasy of mine. I like vaginal novelty as much as the next male mammal, but with no one else to distract them, what the fuck am I supposed to do with two chicks at the same time? Lesbians doing their thing has never excited me, so even if they weren't straight I can't imagine why I'd want two women. There're too many holes, and far too few cocks. I guess if it would please Estrella (and the other lady), I can imagine trading off between the two of them while the other watches. But, I'm going to get tuckered out fast.
In a similar vein, two bi dudes and two straight girls sounds a little bizarre. Are the girls going to sit back and kibbutz while we 69? Will they throw on the strapons and build a daisy chain? I guess with sufficient gear, this could be made to work. Actually, now that I think about it, this would probably be our best bet. I wonder how many of these couples actually exist. I mean, there're plenty of bi dudes cheating on their wives... but, that's not really what I want.
I have issues about people feeling left out. Active, intent watching is one thing (that's a sexual act itself). But, sipping a drink waiting for a cock to be free (and hard) doesn't sound like fun.
I've got one plausible solution that gives me most of what I both need and want, and also seems to align itself with Estrella's apparent needs. If I accept that I'm not getting any strange pussy (I can cope), it seems like we should be looking for gay couples who might like a little pussy on the side. As long as they're not of the vaginas-are-sea-serpent-habitat school of gaydom, gay men tend to be fairly accommodating of my particular constellation of sexual identity.
Not to mention, gay men are plentiful and easy.
I think that I fear that something I want or need will not come to me. Specifically, our compatibility with male-female couples seems to trouble me the most. But, I'm having trouble working out exactly what's going on. So, I'm trying to list each need and want that I can identify with regards to sex. Not the tiny details ("I want somebody pounding my ass while Estrella sucks my cock"), but the emotional needs. Then, I intend to work forward from this list to determine why I feel so worried.
These are in order of priority. Also note that these are not necessarily unfulfilled needs.
Needs:
- I need to have sex regularly. Right now, three or four times a week seems sufficient.
- I need for all of my sexual partners to be involved willingly, honestly, and enthusiastically. This specifically discounts deference, obligation, connivance, and pity as acceptable reasons to be involved.
- I need novelty of sexual sensation.
- I need to feel that I have clear and open communications with my sexual partners.
- I need what I can only term "freedom of sexual expression"; the extent to which I have this freedom is negotiable. I'll explain more.
Wants:
- I want to feel that my relationship with Estrella is more important than those with other people.
- I want the same from her.
- I want to have sex with men.
- I want to have sex with Estrella and other partners simultaneously (well, at least in the same session).
- I want to have sex with other women.
- I want to sexually express intimacy and affection with friends (if they're interested).
- I want to feel intimacy and affection with secondary sexual partners.
Assuming that we won't find a couple with whom both I and Estrella are willing to have sex, we're left with bisexual men, couples with bi men and straight girls, and the simple swap. I nominate Needs 2 & 5 and Wants 5, 6, & 7 as my fears in this situation.
I'm scared of le swap simple because of the apparent frequency at which men drag their unenthusiastic women into the scene. This seems coercive to me (Need 2). Likewise, a slip of the tongue toward what I'm really thinking ("your cock looks delicious") will end in tragedy most times in Swingerville (Need 5).
Despite lovin' the cock myself, I strongly suspect that many claimed male bisexuals who seek out couples don't actually have much interest in men. Rather I think they feel willing to endure sex with them if it means getting some pussy out of it. This seems dishonest on their end, but more importantly, feels like selling Estrella to get my ass plugged.
I can eliminate fears regarding consent and honesty on a case-by-case basis by spending enough time with secondary partners to get to know them. However, Estrella stated that she was turned off this last go partially because she didn't like the amount of time we spent having drinks and chatting with Konrad and Susan. Likewise, I feel like this distaste for spending time with people means that I'm unlikely to have the chance to feel much or any affection or intimacy with our partners. I can cope with that, but it seems suboptimal for my mental balance. I guess I'd rather like the people with whom I have sex, not simply find them physically acceptable.
Since I believe Estrella has placed sex on the side (not involving her) out of bounds, but has consented for me to have sex with another woman in her presence, male-female couples seem the best chance if I want sex with other women. A single woman seems ridiculous on the basis of liklihood: without hiring a hooker, I can't imagine actually finding a straight woman into a threesome with Estrella and I. I imagine there're plenty of women out there into pleasing a dude with his wife, ignoring her. But, I imagine that many more couples (men) are interested in this than single women who're into it. Supply and demand.
Me and two women has never been a fantasy of mine. I like vaginal novelty as much as the next male mammal, but with no one else to distract them, what the fuck am I supposed to do with two chicks at the same time? Lesbians doing their thing has never excited me, so even if they weren't straight I can't imagine why I'd want two women. There're too many holes, and far too few cocks. I guess if it would please Estrella (and the other lady), I can imagine trading off between the two of them while the other watches. But, I'm going to get tuckered out fast.
In a similar vein, two bi dudes and two straight girls sounds a little bizarre. Are the girls going to sit back and kibbutz while we 69? Will they throw on the strapons and build a daisy chain? I guess with sufficient gear, this could be made to work. Actually, now that I think about it, this would probably be our best bet. I wonder how many of these couples actually exist. I mean, there're plenty of bi dudes cheating on their wives... but, that's not really what I want.
I have issues about people feeling left out. Active, intent watching is one thing (that's a sexual act itself). But, sipping a drink waiting for a cock to be free (and hard) doesn't sound like fun.
I've got one plausible solution that gives me most of what I both need and want, and also seems to align itself with Estrella's apparent needs. If I accept that I'm not getting any strange pussy (I can cope), it seems like we should be looking for gay couples who might like a little pussy on the side. As long as they're not of the vaginas-are-sea-serpent-habitat school of gaydom, gay men tend to be fairly accommodating of my particular constellation of sexual identity.
Not to mention, gay men are plentiful and easy.
Change of Plans
Well, as much as I might have liked it to happen, it appears that playing with Konrad and Susan is not in the cards.
They were initially out of running when Estrella admitted to me that she wasn't particularly keen on the idea of exchanging oral sex with a lady. I felt more surprised and disappointed than I probably should have. She had, prior to decided she might like to sleep with Susan, always held that she didn't like girls. However, she seemed to have had some change of heart there, and so I was very much looking forward to all sorts of fun sharing and swapping. I should have realized that the change of heart was temporary, but I didn't. So, the disappointment.
I took Estrella's statement of sexual preference, and agreed that we'd just have to be busy when they called us up. This was mainly because I believed that Estrella had led Susan on enough that it would be unfair to schedule a playdate, and then inform her that Estrella actually wasn't interested in touching her.
I reopened the conversation last night, saying that I wanted to sleep with them still, and perhaps we could work out precisely what she needed to feel enthusiastic about the situation. We determined that Estrella mostly just didn't want to go down on Susan, but might enjoy making out with a woman and playing with boobs--I have no idea her feelings on fingering a woman. So, with this straightened out, I decided to wait for Konrad to get back to us and set something up.
He text messaged me not long after the conversation, with an invitation for dinner. I started to work with Estrella about a time, but quickly noted how unenthusiastic she felt about the situation. Total and immediate turn off. So, we discussed why she didn't feel it.
It turns out that Estrella had some pretty complicated feelings about the situation. I'm not certain that I'm doing them justice, but a breakdown was something like this:
I feel really down about our prospects of happily playing with other people. Single dudes seem pretty manageable, as we've successfully pulled that off with one partner at least. But, with a single dude, there's no worry about internal dynamics of a relationship, power imbalance, or coercion. Likewise, the both of us only need to agree that one person is attractive--finding a couple where both are attractive seems way more than twice as hard.
It would be a lot easier if we were interested in simply swapping partners. It doesn't interest me as much, however, to go play with those boundaries in place. I don't feel like traditional swinging has much to offer me, other than female sexual conquests. While individuals have their own techniques, sex with a woman is roughly sex with a woman. So, aside from simple vaginal novelty, I don't feel like a pure swap adds anything over same-room-sex. I want everybody to at least have the potential to provide some sort of sexual pleasure to and derive it from everybody else. I want a libertine orgy of four people more than I want a traditional swinger's foursome.
I don't think the swingers are even really the population to look to for this sort of behavior. It's more likely to be the pansexual freaks. There aren't a lot of them in the world, and once we meet a pansexual freaky couple, I'm going to want to hang on to them. And I'm afraid that we'll get too close for Estrella to be comfortable fucking them.
They were initially out of running when Estrella admitted to me that she wasn't particularly keen on the idea of exchanging oral sex with a lady. I felt more surprised and disappointed than I probably should have. She had, prior to decided she might like to sleep with Susan, always held that she didn't like girls. However, she seemed to have had some change of heart there, and so I was very much looking forward to all sorts of fun sharing and swapping. I should have realized that the change of heart was temporary, but I didn't. So, the disappointment.
I took Estrella's statement of sexual preference, and agreed that we'd just have to be busy when they called us up. This was mainly because I believed that Estrella had led Susan on enough that it would be unfair to schedule a playdate, and then inform her that Estrella actually wasn't interested in touching her.
I reopened the conversation last night, saying that I wanted to sleep with them still, and perhaps we could work out precisely what she needed to feel enthusiastic about the situation. We determined that Estrella mostly just didn't want to go down on Susan, but might enjoy making out with a woman and playing with boobs--I have no idea her feelings on fingering a woman. So, with this straightened out, I decided to wait for Konrad to get back to us and set something up.
He text messaged me not long after the conversation, with an invitation for dinner. I started to work with Estrella about a time, but quickly noted how unenthusiastic she felt about the situation. Total and immediate turn off. So, we discussed why she didn't feel it.
It turns out that Estrella had some pretty complicated feelings about the situation. I'm not certain that I'm doing them justice, but a breakdown was something like this:
- She knew too much about them, thus bringing into play the advanced female mate-finding sexual attraction heuristics. With people about whom we know next to nothing, she can apparently operate purely on physical attraction.
- Susan didn't seem particularly into it. (I think she's just of the more reserved type.)
- She doesn't feel interested in sex unless she's actually aroused, and so doesn't feel much drive to work on finding and grooming partners. That is, our discussions about the tricks, scheduling, hanging out, etc. had no sexual charge for her, and so are just sources of strife.
- She was creeped-out/intimidated/appalled by "the chase". Specifically, she didn't find these people especially interesting on their own merits, and so the time spent as we courted them was mostly just boring.
I feel really down about our prospects of happily playing with other people. Single dudes seem pretty manageable, as we've successfully pulled that off with one partner at least. But, with a single dude, there's no worry about internal dynamics of a relationship, power imbalance, or coercion. Likewise, the both of us only need to agree that one person is attractive--finding a couple where both are attractive seems way more than twice as hard.
It would be a lot easier if we were interested in simply swapping partners. It doesn't interest me as much, however, to go play with those boundaries in place. I don't feel like traditional swinging has much to offer me, other than female sexual conquests. While individuals have their own techniques, sex with a woman is roughly sex with a woman. So, aside from simple vaginal novelty, I don't feel like a pure swap adds anything over same-room-sex. I want everybody to at least have the potential to provide some sort of sexual pleasure to and derive it from everybody else. I want a libertine orgy of four people more than I want a traditional swinger's foursome.
I don't think the swingers are even really the population to look to for this sort of behavior. It's more likely to be the pansexual freaks. There aren't a lot of them in the world, and once we meet a pansexual freaky couple, I'm going to want to hang on to them. And I'm afraid that we'll get too close for Estrella to be comfortable fucking them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
