For years, I have been envious of certain of my female friends and their ability to fruitfully masturbate for seemingly inhuman periods of time. I remember one girl telling me that she couldn't go for drinks because she had "an evening of masturbation" ahead of her. I couldn't imagine masturbating for an entire evening: I'd come once in the first twenty minutes, once again about forty minutes in, and then lose any semblance of an erection.
Yesterday, I was super bored. It was Masturbation Night anyway, so I figured I may as well start early. So, at about 1830h, I lubed up my ass and slid in my Aneros Progasm. Then I flopped out to watch and read porn.
I think that I spent about two hours "masturbating". It's in scare quotes since I played according to Hoyle and didn't touch my cock. In fact, I did my best to ignore its existence. I squeezed my balls, pinched my nipples, but let my cock be as it vacillated between hard and flaccid. Since the Progasm doesn't require an erection to function, it's actually pretty easy to keep it going for that long. You just have to stay in the mood.
I don't envy the girls anymore.
I had several peak experiences that might be called orgasms, if the definition of male orgasm weren't so inextricably linked to ejaculation. I remember at least three of them, although there may have been more. It doesn't feel like ejaculating, in so far as the pleasurable contractions don't come in a set. Just a single, powerful, pleasurable contraction that seems to set you up for the next one without actually triggering it. You have to do that with another squeeze of your anus on the Progasm. If you get the timing right, you can keep the chain going for quite some time.
The peakest of peak experiences even included fluid emission. Not semen, but prostatic fluid. I'd estimate that there was at least 80mL of it. The volume surprised me as much as it ever has a woman who suddenly discovered she could "squirt". It leaked down the shaft of my cock, pooling between my legs and crotch, filling my belly button, providing the nasty lube I used to stroke my cock to climax.
It was quite a mess.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Unexpected
I just deleted a thousand words about an argument Estrella and I had last night. Said argument interrupted my plan of putting it to my lovely wife the moment I returned home. But, I couldn't characterize the argument in any coherent way: it was about two years of sexual psychology and routine, and no attempt to summarize did them the slightest bit of credit. So, instead, I'm going to talk a bit about how we argue.
We don't.
I cannot remember ever fighting with Estrella. We do not agree on lots of things, and we come to loggerheads on some issues. But, I don't believe that we raise our voices, throw things, or personally attack one another. We don't have proxy arguments: fighting about garbage removal responsibilities when we're really fighting about not getting enough affection. I do feel guilty of perpetrating a few acts of passive-aggression, but even those are mostly because I feel angry or hurt, and don't know why yet.
Instead of fighting, Estrella and I talk. Specifically, we talk like unicorn-petting, pot-smoking, crystal-wearing hippie lesbians. Lots and lots of "I feel" statements, plenty of listening, a fair dose of "right on; I get it". Speak, listen, and validate.
I've worked very hard to feel comfortable in these sorts of discussions. By nature, I tend to argue rhetorically, logically, cerebrally. The rational debate of objective issues was dinner entertainment while I was growing up. I'm mad good at it, too.
Enter Lilith: my highschool crush who, through a twisty road, wound up living with me for a few months about a year before I met Estrella. She was a psychology major, doing social work. I thought I could resist, but I wound up falling back in love (lust?) with her. And that created all sorts of drama. The one good thing that came out of that drama is that I learned how to state my feelings without making them somebody else's fault. She spoke that way, and refused to listen unless I also did so.
At first, I found it infuriating. After all, I'd spent my whole life treating such discussions as problems needing a logical solution. But I rapidly saw that it made communicating about emotional needs possible in a way I'd never imagined. I found that if I said "I feel angry when you..." instead of "you make me angry when...", it was possible to move beyond whether or not I should feel angry to how we could go about arranging a situation in which I didn't feel angry. I quickly found that communicating like this even works with people who don't respond in kind.
Despite coming to accept it, I still find this method of communication difficult. It requires considerable effort on my part to regulate my speech, to ignore the part of me that wants to spread the negativity around. It's made even harder when I don't even know what the fuck I'm feeling. I find it most difficult when I need (or want) somebody else to make a change for me; it feels hard to say "I feel angry when I find your panties all over the floor" and not follow it up with "so could you not leave them there?" Instead, I have to have faith that the person I'm talking to will hear my pain and volunteer either a change in behavior or a compromise. Luckily, most of the time, just making the listener aware of my distress helps dramatically in assuaging it.
The only downside to my hard-won skill at nonaggressively making my needs known is that it doesn't fit my "gender role". The other day, I made the mistake of expressing my emotional distress to my boss after he asked why I walked out of a meeting in which I'd been told I was uneducated. Instead of the validation I reflexively expected, he asked whether I was a faggot or a girl. I guess he'd have preferred that I just call the other guy an asshole.
It was the first time I've been conscious of the patriarchy harming, instead of privileging, me.
We don't.
I cannot remember ever fighting with Estrella. We do not agree on lots of things, and we come to loggerheads on some issues. But, I don't believe that we raise our voices, throw things, or personally attack one another. We don't have proxy arguments: fighting about garbage removal responsibilities when we're really fighting about not getting enough affection. I do feel guilty of perpetrating a few acts of passive-aggression, but even those are mostly because I feel angry or hurt, and don't know why yet.
Instead of fighting, Estrella and I talk. Specifically, we talk like unicorn-petting, pot-smoking, crystal-wearing hippie lesbians. Lots and lots of "I feel" statements, plenty of listening, a fair dose of "right on; I get it". Speak, listen, and validate.
I've worked very hard to feel comfortable in these sorts of discussions. By nature, I tend to argue rhetorically, logically, cerebrally. The rational debate of objective issues was dinner entertainment while I was growing up. I'm mad good at it, too.
Enter Lilith: my highschool crush who, through a twisty road, wound up living with me for a few months about a year before I met Estrella. She was a psychology major, doing social work. I thought I could resist, but I wound up falling back in love (lust?) with her. And that created all sorts of drama. The one good thing that came out of that drama is that I learned how to state my feelings without making them somebody else's fault. She spoke that way, and refused to listen unless I also did so.
At first, I found it infuriating. After all, I'd spent my whole life treating such discussions as problems needing a logical solution. But I rapidly saw that it made communicating about emotional needs possible in a way I'd never imagined. I found that if I said "I feel angry when you..." instead of "you make me angry when...", it was possible to move beyond whether or not I should feel angry to how we could go about arranging a situation in which I didn't feel angry. I quickly found that communicating like this even works with people who don't respond in kind.
Despite coming to accept it, I still find this method of communication difficult. It requires considerable effort on my part to regulate my speech, to ignore the part of me that wants to spread the negativity around. It's made even harder when I don't even know what the fuck I'm feeling. I find it most difficult when I need (or want) somebody else to make a change for me; it feels hard to say "I feel angry when I find your panties all over the floor" and not follow it up with "so could you not leave them there?" Instead, I have to have faith that the person I'm talking to will hear my pain and volunteer either a change in behavior or a compromise. Luckily, most of the time, just making the listener aware of my distress helps dramatically in assuaging it.
The only downside to my hard-won skill at nonaggressively making my needs known is that it doesn't fit my "gender role". The other day, I made the mistake of expressing my emotional distress to my boss after he asked why I walked out of a meeting in which I'd been told I was uneducated. Instead of the validation I reflexively expected, he asked whether I was a faggot or a girl. I guess he'd have preferred that I just call the other guy an asshole.
It was the first time I've been conscious of the patriarchy harming, instead of privileging, me.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Sleep Sex
I frequently spend the first hour or so of consciousness in a horny funk. In fact, I find it essentially impossible to restrain such lustful thoughts when I wake up next to such a sexy, curvy woman. And I usually wake up at least half an hour before Estrella. That's plenty of time to work up a good head of lust.
It's the line of her hip as she sleeps on her side. It's running my hand along her thighs and feeling her reflexively wriggle in response. And, I admit it, I sometimes grope her while she's unconscious; I can't resist.
I frequently find myself deeply torn between letting her sleep so beautifully, and fucking her awake. Surprisingly, for two years of internal morning debates, letting her sleep has always won*.
It isn't really a lack of desire or consent--I want to, and she's reiterated her consent on numerous occasions. I just can't figure out how the hell to pull it off.
Keeping in mind that the goal here is for me to have my penis inside her before she wakes up, here are the practical difficulties that tend to stop me:
First, there's the issue of lubrication. She's asleep, and unless she's having a particularly hot sex dream, her pussy is likely bone dry. Trying to force my cock into that will only result in discomfort for all of us. Not to mention that the attempt would undoubtedly wake her up before I had the chance to get inside. I suppose that a bottle of lube on the nightstand might help. Of course, that means that when she does wake up, realizes what's going on, and starts generously secreting her own juices, the whole of our crotches will immediately end up a frictionless mess.
Then, there's the issue of positioning. Estrella tends to sleep on her side. Given the limits of anatomy, I don't think that I can successfully achieve entry in this position without her assistance. And rolling her over on her back, even if she didn't successfully resist, would probably wake her up. Naturally, when she sleeps on her back, she tends to have her legs tightly together--I don't know that separating them will be any less likely to wake her than rolling her over.
Finally, there is the issue of piss. My wife, like many humans I've met, usually needs to void her bladder upon waking up. This isn't normally a problem, since I'm not buried balls-deep in her quim. But it seems highly probable that Estrella would wake upon penetration, squeal, and then demand to be let up to pee. Not quite what I have in mind.
So, since I've noticed that we seem to have at least a few readers, do ya'll have any ideas for making spontaneous sleep sex work? Are my only options "drug her" and "tell her to pretend"?
*Well, fucking her awake did win once. But, she woke up while I was still shifting the comforter out of the way. That particular episode did nothing to help my confidence here.
It's the line of her hip as she sleeps on her side. It's running my hand along her thighs and feeling her reflexively wriggle in response. And, I admit it, I sometimes grope her while she's unconscious; I can't resist.
I frequently find myself deeply torn between letting her sleep so beautifully, and fucking her awake. Surprisingly, for two years of internal morning debates, letting her sleep has always won*.
It isn't really a lack of desire or consent--I want to, and she's reiterated her consent on numerous occasions. I just can't figure out how the hell to pull it off.
Keeping in mind that the goal here is for me to have my penis inside her before she wakes up, here are the practical difficulties that tend to stop me:
First, there's the issue of lubrication. She's asleep, and unless she's having a particularly hot sex dream, her pussy is likely bone dry. Trying to force my cock into that will only result in discomfort for all of us. Not to mention that the attempt would undoubtedly wake her up before I had the chance to get inside. I suppose that a bottle of lube on the nightstand might help. Of course, that means that when she does wake up, realizes what's going on, and starts generously secreting her own juices, the whole of our crotches will immediately end up a frictionless mess.
Then, there's the issue of positioning. Estrella tends to sleep on her side. Given the limits of anatomy, I don't think that I can successfully achieve entry in this position without her assistance. And rolling her over on her back, even if she didn't successfully resist, would probably wake her up. Naturally, when she sleeps on her back, she tends to have her legs tightly together--I don't know that separating them will be any less likely to wake her than rolling her over.
Finally, there is the issue of piss. My wife, like many humans I've met, usually needs to void her bladder upon waking up. This isn't normally a problem, since I'm not buried balls-deep in her quim. But it seems highly probable that Estrella would wake upon penetration, squeal, and then demand to be let up to pee. Not quite what I have in mind.
So, since I've noticed that we seem to have at least a few readers, do ya'll have any ideas for making spontaneous sleep sex work? Are my only options "drug her" and "tell her to pretend"?
*Well, fucking her awake did win once. But, she woke up while I was still shifting the comforter out of the way. That particular episode did nothing to help my confidence here.
Horny Day
I've felt wicked horny all day.
You see, dear readers, Estrella refused to submit to her marital duty and spread her legs for a quickie this morning. She gave me static about not wanting to be late for an appointment. So, instead of giving her a ride on my pogostick, I gave her a ride in my car.
I intend to remedy this situation immediately upon returning home tonight. She's been warned.
You see, dear readers, Estrella refused to submit to her marital duty and spread her legs for a quickie this morning. She gave me static about not wanting to be late for an appointment. So, instead of giving her a ride on my pogostick, I gave her a ride in my car.
I intend to remedy this situation immediately upon returning home tonight. She's been warned.
Monday, April 21, 2008
These Folks are Hot
Estrella, not an hour ago, fucked my ass with a strapon for a considerable period. My ass, naturally, got sore after a while. So, I rolled her over and fucked her pussy at a gently increasing pace for a long time, until we were finally slamming our hips together.
It was some damn fine sex.
And yet I just jerked off all over this mad hot blog. Literally.
It was some damn fine sex.
And yet I just jerked off all over this mad hot blog. Literally.
The Porns
- Probably not Marilyn Monroe. But that's fine.
- Everybody loves a tranny. Both she and the biogirl are mad hot.
- Pretty nice, even if there aren't enough cocks.
- A little boring at points, but definitely four real folks just fucking.
- Aw, how stereotypical. But they mix it up pretty nicely toward the end. Simmer on it.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Roger, and some thoughts
I have had some time to both think about my own feelings and to discuss them at great length with Oscar. When we began to look for a couple (instead of just an extra cock) I said I would be fine with a bi female, and that Oscar could even indicate that I was bi for our posting to craigslist. I rationalized it to myself saying that I had experimented with women before at a younger age and had even dated one lady. However, once we had actually met the couple I started having misgivings. Susan is an absolutely gorgeous woman, tall and beautifully proportioned. But I wasn't sure I could actually do sexual acts with her.
I was also put off by her reserved nature. While Konrad was forthright and made multiple mentions of sexual acts, Susan never once made any overtly sexual statement. She seemed quite content just discussing the mundane everyday life. I was unsure how willing she was in this situation. After getting burned at the sex club before, I was a little more cautious. Her lack of enthusiasm for the whole situation made me skeptical. That, combined with their delays, led me to think it was not going anywhere, and thus, I lost my own enthusiasm. Considering that we are moving shortly, I did not want to put so much effort into creating a relationship with someone that I would never see after a month.
So, onto our night with Roger. He was at our house at ten pm, but we only kept him there for around two hours. He knew there was a potential for interruption, but we were all hoping it wouldn't become an issue. The evening began with a bit of idle chit-chat, and then progressed, as it usually does, with Oscar taking off his clothing. His love of nudity and lack of self consciousness makes it far easier to initiate a sexual situation. I was wearing a silk robe with a set of black undergarments, which included my absolute favorite pair of black lacy underwear. Roger liked them as well. With Oscar on one side and Roger on the other, I stroked both of their cocks while they sucked on my nipples. Roger is cut, and Oscar is not, so the navigation of two different cocks at once was made slightly more difficult. Oscar began gobbling Roger's cock while I provided our guest with a set of tits to suck and grope. After a few minutes of satisfied slurping, Oscar moved off for a break while Roger donned a condom. For the first time in our three meetings, I rode him. Before I began dating Oscar, riding cock seemed like an impossible skill only possible if one is a lithe porn star. However, after experimenting with Oscar and learning how to properly gyrate my hips, I learned the motions that create pleasurable sensations in my partner's loins.
While I was straddling Roger, Oscar approached with a new brand of condom (Trojan's version of polyurethane-I am amazed that with the prevalence of latex allergies, the condom industry remains dependent on latex). I was surprised, as we normally do not use condoms and Roger's ass was firmly lodged under my pussy. However, I soon understood his idea. He began by trying to double penetrate me, but the angles were not working out in our favor. He then plunged into my ass, pounding away at me and Roger at the same time. I was able to see-saw my hips so that when Oscar withdrew, I could impale myself entirely on Roger's cock. After a few minutes of sweaty grinding, my ass was feeling tender, so I hopped off the couch to the shower to cool off.
While I was away, I could hear Oscar devouring Roger's erection. When I arrived back in the living room, however, both of the men were lying on their backs. Apparently, Roger had gone limp in my absence. This was disappointing to Oscar, who was eagerly anticipating some ass-sex. After a quick discussion about the existence/role of fluffers in the porn industry, I began to suck Roger's cock to get him hard again. He obliged, and was soon ready to go. No sooner did he roll a condom onto his firm dick, his cell phone went off indicating that he had to leave us. As he got dressed, Oscar was lying perpendicular to me with my legs draped over him. He used that as an opportunity to fuck me, in what I call "lazy position". He grabbed my thighs and ground himself into me.
After Roger had let himself out Oscar asked me to suck him off. He washed his cock to clean off the thick layer of pussy juice, which I am not very fond of tasting (smelling is okay, but tasting often makes me gag). He attempted to fuck my mouth from behind my head to facilitate deep throating. The angles were a bit off, especially because my mouth was tired from so much cock sucking. He flipped over on to his back, and I buried my head in his crotch, taking in his entire hard dick. I wanted to get him off quickly, using some new found skills of mine. Early in our relationship, Oscar always complemented my skills at fellatio, but I was frustrated because I almost never got him off. I enjoy swallowing cum, so this usually left me with the feeling of defeat. Oscar recently told me how I always bring him to the brink of orgasm, but then I pause or change what I'm doing and he loses his steam. He clarified the difference between "giving head", at which I was adept, versus "giving a blow job" which results in him blowing his load. I hadn't realized that I had been so close to accomplishing my goal, so I made a resolution to try harder. This night was no exception. I gave him what he has deemed either the best or the second best blow job he has ever gotten (the other one in this competition had been performed only a few nights prior). As he shot cum down my throat, it marked his third orgasm of the day, which is a feat we hadn't accomplished in several months.
After Roger left, we discussed the possibility that perhaps our play partner is not "truly" bi. His cock went limp as Oscar was sucking it in a manner that Oscar tells me only happens when someone isn't really into the situation. It also happened while I was away in the shower, unable to stimulate Roger's libido with my nudity. I agree with Oscar, as I had my own theories about this before last night. Oscar admitted that he felt slightly off "bartering" sex with me for his own gratification. I had several thoughts on the subject: Oscar is my love so I'd gladly do many things for his pleasure and it's not as though I am being forced into sex with Roger (I enjoy it and participate willingly). I don't believe Roger is truly straight, and I think that he is definitely able to get tail on his own without having to barter for it with gay sex. He is just not quite "gay enough". His failure to service Oscar's asshole has been noted and I am less willing to hook up with him unless he fucks Oscar first next time. I would like to ensure that my man is happy. Plus, Oscar has one of the hottest asses I have ever found on a man, so someone with any inclination to top would be a fool to pass up an opportunity to tap it. But perhaps I am biased.
I was also put off by her reserved nature. While Konrad was forthright and made multiple mentions of sexual acts, Susan never once made any overtly sexual statement. She seemed quite content just discussing the mundane everyday life. I was unsure how willing she was in this situation. After getting burned at the sex club before, I was a little more cautious. Her lack of enthusiasm for the whole situation made me skeptical. That, combined with their delays, led me to think it was not going anywhere, and thus, I lost my own enthusiasm. Considering that we are moving shortly, I did not want to put so much effort into creating a relationship with someone that I would never see after a month.
So, onto our night with Roger. He was at our house at ten pm, but we only kept him there for around two hours. He knew there was a potential for interruption, but we were all hoping it wouldn't become an issue. The evening began with a bit of idle chit-chat, and then progressed, as it usually does, with Oscar taking off his clothing. His love of nudity and lack of self consciousness makes it far easier to initiate a sexual situation. I was wearing a silk robe with a set of black undergarments, which included my absolute favorite pair of black lacy underwear. Roger liked them as well. With Oscar on one side and Roger on the other, I stroked both of their cocks while they sucked on my nipples. Roger is cut, and Oscar is not, so the navigation of two different cocks at once was made slightly more difficult. Oscar began gobbling Roger's cock while I provided our guest with a set of tits to suck and grope. After a few minutes of satisfied slurping, Oscar moved off for a break while Roger donned a condom. For the first time in our three meetings, I rode him. Before I began dating Oscar, riding cock seemed like an impossible skill only possible if one is a lithe porn star. However, after experimenting with Oscar and learning how to properly gyrate my hips, I learned the motions that create pleasurable sensations in my partner's loins.
While I was straddling Roger, Oscar approached with a new brand of condom (Trojan's version of polyurethane-I am amazed that with the prevalence of latex allergies, the condom industry remains dependent on latex). I was surprised, as we normally do not use condoms and Roger's ass was firmly lodged under my pussy. However, I soon understood his idea. He began by trying to double penetrate me, but the angles were not working out in our favor. He then plunged into my ass, pounding away at me and Roger at the same time. I was able to see-saw my hips so that when Oscar withdrew, I could impale myself entirely on Roger's cock. After a few minutes of sweaty grinding, my ass was feeling tender, so I hopped off the couch to the shower to cool off.
While I was away, I could hear Oscar devouring Roger's erection. When I arrived back in the living room, however, both of the men were lying on their backs. Apparently, Roger had gone limp in my absence. This was disappointing to Oscar, who was eagerly anticipating some ass-sex. After a quick discussion about the existence/role of fluffers in the porn industry, I began to suck Roger's cock to get him hard again. He obliged, and was soon ready to go. No sooner did he roll a condom onto his firm dick, his cell phone went off indicating that he had to leave us. As he got dressed, Oscar was lying perpendicular to me with my legs draped over him. He used that as an opportunity to fuck me, in what I call "lazy position". He grabbed my thighs and ground himself into me.
After Roger had let himself out Oscar asked me to suck him off. He washed his cock to clean off the thick layer of pussy juice, which I am not very fond of tasting (smelling is okay, but tasting often makes me gag). He attempted to fuck my mouth from behind my head to facilitate deep throating. The angles were a bit off, especially because my mouth was tired from so much cock sucking. He flipped over on to his back, and I buried my head in his crotch, taking in his entire hard dick. I wanted to get him off quickly, using some new found skills of mine. Early in our relationship, Oscar always complemented my skills at fellatio, but I was frustrated because I almost never got him off. I enjoy swallowing cum, so this usually left me with the feeling of defeat. Oscar recently told me how I always bring him to the brink of orgasm, but then I pause or change what I'm doing and he loses his steam. He clarified the difference between "giving head", at which I was adept, versus "giving a blow job" which results in him blowing his load. I hadn't realized that I had been so close to accomplishing my goal, so I made a resolution to try harder. This night was no exception. I gave him what he has deemed either the best or the second best blow job he has ever gotten (the other one in this competition had been performed only a few nights prior). As he shot cum down my throat, it marked his third orgasm of the day, which is a feat we hadn't accomplished in several months.
After Roger left, we discussed the possibility that perhaps our play partner is not "truly" bi. His cock went limp as Oscar was sucking it in a manner that Oscar tells me only happens when someone isn't really into the situation. It also happened while I was away in the shower, unable to stimulate Roger's libido with my nudity. I agree with Oscar, as I had my own theories about this before last night. Oscar admitted that he felt slightly off "bartering" sex with me for his own gratification. I had several thoughts on the subject: Oscar is my love so I'd gladly do many things for his pleasure and it's not as though I am being forced into sex with Roger (I enjoy it and participate willingly). I don't believe Roger is truly straight, and I think that he is definitely able to get tail on his own without having to barter for it with gay sex. He is just not quite "gay enough". His failure to service Oscar's asshole has been noted and I am less willing to hook up with him unless he fucks Oscar first next time. I would like to ensure that my man is happy. Plus, Oscar has one of the hottest asses I have ever found on a man, so someone with any inclination to top would be a fool to pass up an opportunity to tap it. But perhaps I am biased.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Roger's Coming Over
Estrella and I have retreated to safe territory. Roger will be here in two hours.
I can't wait to get some dick. And, of course, become a literal cuckold. This will be the first adulteration of our marriage.
I can't wait to get some dick. And, of course, become a literal cuckold. This will be the first adulteration of our marriage.
New Toy: Aneros Progasm
Last Friday, we had time to kill downtown, and so wandered into a sex shop. It's a pretty well-stocked one, with plenty of porn, and a nice selection of toys. And, since it's in the middle of Gayville, most of the toys are appropriate to the male anatomy.
They have all manner of ass toys, from tiny beads no bigger than those at Mardi Gras, all the way up to the 9" diameter plug whose only imaginable purpose must be as a paperweight. And, they had the Aneros Prograsm. So, given how much Estrella loves for my ass to have fun, she bought it for me. Then she hid it in her purse, and we met our friends for drinks.
After drinks with friends (and one of our boring meetings with Konrad and Susan), we returned home. Of course, the first thing I wanted was to play with my new toy.
I have a number of ass plugs, so I'm no stranger to convincing plastic to inhabit my anus. The Progasm, however, slid in with astonishing ease. The material is a hard plastic, which would probably suck for insertion if it hadn't also been far smoother than any other plug I have. After it went in, it settled down in precisely the position they said it would: with the tip of the phallus on my prostate. I don't know that I can actually feel the little taint and kundalini beads, but they do help to hold the phallus in the right location.
The directions say that you should avoid penile stimulation while playing with the toy. Specifically, they suggest that you not touch the Progasm or yourself at all while playing with it. The idea is to use contractions of your anal sphincter to rub the tip along your prostate.
I didn't pay attention to these suggestions for the first night. Instead, I had Estrella suck my cock while wiggling the toy with her fingers. Then, I went ahead and flipped her over on all fours and took her from behind. The geometry of the Progasm does all sorts of joyous things to one's prostate, regardless of what you're doing to your cock. The involuntary contractions in that region caused by Estrella's expert fellatio and slimy pussy caused the tip of the toy to rub most exquisitely. A lot closer to being assfucked than any other butt-plug I've ever tried. However, I didn't really see what the fuss was about.
This week, on Tuesday and Thursday (aka, Masturbation Night), I tried playing with the Progasm in the manner recommended by the manufacturers. The first time, I drew a bath, inserted the toy, and laid down in the water trying to concentrate on my sensations. While it definitely felt neat, and I was starting to get the point, I got bored pretty quickly. I tugged myself off after only a few minutes.
Yesterday, however, I tried a different plan. I lubed it up and stuffed the Progasm in my ass, put on a terry-cloth robe, and returned to the couch. There, I watched porn and absolutely refused to touch myself. The porn really helped. Prostate massage gets pretty boring, and sometimes uncomfortable, if I'm insufficiently aroused. Without porn (or a partner), I find it difficult to maintain sexual arousal during self abuse unless I'm beating a straight path to the goal. With the porn to refocus my attention on the sexual (instead of my mind drifting to, say, shortest-path algorithms), I found it far easier to maintain a long, leisurely session.
What a difference.
With sufficient time to build up the charge, and sufficient self-control to keep from touching myself, the Progasm is a fucking exemplary sex toy. It's rare that a sex toy actually unlocks a sensation that's difficult to create without it. An assplug feels roughly like a finger, just a little wider; a dildo feels roughly like a cock, just not as compliant; etc. However, I don't think that I've actually felt before the sort of "prostate orgasm" that I almost achieved last night. Estrella has given me a prostate massage that resulted in me leaking fluid in a long, ropey stream from my cock. But, I didn't even feel it at the time--she had to tell me what was happening.
With the Progasm, I definitely felt it. I think it's the feedback. You tense your anus, which pulls the Progasm up along your prostate, which makes your cock jump, with tightens your prostate, which pushes the Progasm out a bit, which causes you to tense your anus again. Get that rhythm right, with just enough pressure, and away you go.
But, it's closer to meditation than masturbation. Distractions and partners seem to make it too difficult for me to maintain the concentration necessary to get it working. Well, distractions, partners, and the uncontrollable urge to stroke it.
They have all manner of ass toys, from tiny beads no bigger than those at Mardi Gras, all the way up to the 9" diameter plug whose only imaginable purpose must be as a paperweight. And, they had the Aneros Prograsm. So, given how much Estrella loves for my ass to have fun, she bought it for me. Then she hid it in her purse, and we met our friends for drinks.
After drinks with friends (and one of our boring meetings with Konrad and Susan), we returned home. Of course, the first thing I wanted was to play with my new toy.
I have a number of ass plugs, so I'm no stranger to convincing plastic to inhabit my anus. The Progasm, however, slid in with astonishing ease. The material is a hard plastic, which would probably suck for insertion if it hadn't also been far smoother than any other plug I have. After it went in, it settled down in precisely the position they said it would: with the tip of the phallus on my prostate. I don't know that I can actually feel the little taint and kundalini beads, but they do help to hold the phallus in the right location.
The directions say that you should avoid penile stimulation while playing with the toy. Specifically, they suggest that you not touch the Progasm or yourself at all while playing with it. The idea is to use contractions of your anal sphincter to rub the tip along your prostate.
I didn't pay attention to these suggestions for the first night. Instead, I had Estrella suck my cock while wiggling the toy with her fingers. Then, I went ahead and flipped her over on all fours and took her from behind. The geometry of the Progasm does all sorts of joyous things to one's prostate, regardless of what you're doing to your cock. The involuntary contractions in that region caused by Estrella's expert fellatio and slimy pussy caused the tip of the toy to rub most exquisitely. A lot closer to being assfucked than any other butt-plug I've ever tried. However, I didn't really see what the fuss was about.
This week, on Tuesday and Thursday (aka, Masturbation Night), I tried playing with the Progasm in the manner recommended by the manufacturers. The first time, I drew a bath, inserted the toy, and laid down in the water trying to concentrate on my sensations. While it definitely felt neat, and I was starting to get the point, I got bored pretty quickly. I tugged myself off after only a few minutes.
Yesterday, however, I tried a different plan. I lubed it up and stuffed the Progasm in my ass, put on a terry-cloth robe, and returned to the couch. There, I watched porn and absolutely refused to touch myself. The porn really helped. Prostate massage gets pretty boring, and sometimes uncomfortable, if I'm insufficiently aroused. Without porn (or a partner), I find it difficult to maintain sexual arousal during self abuse unless I'm beating a straight path to the goal. With the porn to refocus my attention on the sexual (instead of my mind drifting to, say, shortest-path algorithms), I found it far easier to maintain a long, leisurely session.
What a difference.
With sufficient time to build up the charge, and sufficient self-control to keep from touching myself, the Progasm is a fucking exemplary sex toy. It's rare that a sex toy actually unlocks a sensation that's difficult to create without it. An assplug feels roughly like a finger, just a little wider; a dildo feels roughly like a cock, just not as compliant; etc. However, I don't think that I've actually felt before the sort of "prostate orgasm" that I almost achieved last night. Estrella has given me a prostate massage that resulted in me leaking fluid in a long, ropey stream from my cock. But, I didn't even feel it at the time--she had to tell me what was happening.
With the Progasm, I definitely felt it. I think it's the feedback. You tense your anus, which pulls the Progasm up along your prostate, which makes your cock jump, with tightens your prostate, which pushes the Progasm out a bit, which causes you to tense your anus again. Get that rhythm right, with just enough pressure, and away you go.
But, it's closer to meditation than masturbation. Distractions and partners seem to make it too difficult for me to maintain the concentration necessary to get it working. Well, distractions, partners, and the uncontrollable urge to stroke it.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
My Needs and Wants
I can't figure out quite why I'm so down about the prospects of our other-people-sexy-time. Estrella has explicitly said that she still has interest in pursuing it. She has expressed no regrets about our time with Roger, nor any more regret than I have about our adventures at the swinger's club. I can't figure out why I should feel this way.
I think that I fear that something I want or need will not come to me. Specifically, our compatibility with male-female couples seems to trouble me the most. But, I'm having trouble working out exactly what's going on. So, I'm trying to list each need and want that I can identify with regards to sex. Not the tiny details ("I want somebody pounding my ass while Estrella sucks my cock"), but the emotional needs. Then, I intend to work forward from this list to determine why I feel so worried.
These are in order of priority. Also note that these are not necessarily unfulfilled needs.
Needs:
Wants:
Assuming that we won't find a couple with whom both I and Estrella are willing to have sex, we're left with bisexual men, couples with bi men and straight girls, and the simple swap. I nominate Needs 2 & 5 and Wants 5, 6, & 7 as my fears in this situation.
I'm scared of le swap simple because of the apparent frequency at which men drag their unenthusiastic women into the scene. This seems coercive to me (Need 2). Likewise, a slip of the tongue toward what I'm really thinking ("your cock looks delicious") will end in tragedy most times in Swingerville (Need 5).
Despite lovin' the cock myself, I strongly suspect that many claimed male bisexuals who seek out couples don't actually have much interest in men. Rather I think they feel willing to endure sex with them if it means getting some pussy out of it. This seems dishonest on their end, but more importantly, feels like selling Estrella to get my ass plugged.
I can eliminate fears regarding consent and honesty on a case-by-case basis by spending enough time with secondary partners to get to know them. However, Estrella stated that she was turned off this last go partially because she didn't like the amount of time we spent having drinks and chatting with Konrad and Susan. Likewise, I feel like this distaste for spending time with people means that I'm unlikely to have the chance to feel much or any affection or intimacy with our partners. I can cope with that, but it seems suboptimal for my mental balance. I guess I'd rather like the people with whom I have sex, not simply find them physically acceptable.
Since I believe Estrella has placed sex on the side (not involving her) out of bounds, but has consented for me to have sex with another woman in her presence, male-female couples seem the best chance if I want sex with other women. A single woman seems ridiculous on the basis of liklihood: without hiring a hooker, I can't imagine actually finding a straight woman into a threesome with Estrella and I. I imagine there're plenty of women out there into pleasing a dude with his wife, ignoring her. But, I imagine that many more couples (men) are interested in this than single women who're into it. Supply and demand.
Me and two women has never been a fantasy of mine. I like vaginal novelty as much as the next male mammal, but with no one else to distract them, what the fuck am I supposed to do with two chicks at the same time? Lesbians doing their thing has never excited me, so even if they weren't straight I can't imagine why I'd want two women. There're too many holes, and far too few cocks. I guess if it would please Estrella (and the other lady), I can imagine trading off between the two of them while the other watches. But, I'm going to get tuckered out fast.
In a similar vein, two bi dudes and two straight girls sounds a little bizarre. Are the girls going to sit back and kibbutz while we 69? Will they throw on the strapons and build a daisy chain? I guess with sufficient gear, this could be made to work. Actually, now that I think about it, this would probably be our best bet. I wonder how many of these couples actually exist. I mean, there're plenty of bi dudes cheating on their wives... but, that's not really what I want.
I have issues about people feeling left out. Active, intent watching is one thing (that's a sexual act itself). But, sipping a drink waiting for a cock to be free (and hard) doesn't sound like fun.
I've got one plausible solution that gives me most of what I both need and want, and also seems to align itself with Estrella's apparent needs. If I accept that I'm not getting any strange pussy (I can cope), it seems like we should be looking for gay couples who might like a little pussy on the side. As long as they're not of the vaginas-are-sea-serpent-habitat school of gaydom, gay men tend to be fairly accommodating of my particular constellation of sexual identity.
Not to mention, gay men are plentiful and easy.
I think that I fear that something I want or need will not come to me. Specifically, our compatibility with male-female couples seems to trouble me the most. But, I'm having trouble working out exactly what's going on. So, I'm trying to list each need and want that I can identify with regards to sex. Not the tiny details ("I want somebody pounding my ass while Estrella sucks my cock"), but the emotional needs. Then, I intend to work forward from this list to determine why I feel so worried.
These are in order of priority. Also note that these are not necessarily unfulfilled needs.
Needs:
- I need to have sex regularly. Right now, three or four times a week seems sufficient.
- I need for all of my sexual partners to be involved willingly, honestly, and enthusiastically. This specifically discounts deference, obligation, connivance, and pity as acceptable reasons to be involved.
- I need novelty of sexual sensation.
- I need to feel that I have clear and open communications with my sexual partners.
- I need what I can only term "freedom of sexual expression"; the extent to which I have this freedom is negotiable. I'll explain more.
Wants:
- I want to feel that my relationship with Estrella is more important than those with other people.
- I want the same from her.
- I want to have sex with men.
- I want to have sex with Estrella and other partners simultaneously (well, at least in the same session).
- I want to have sex with other women.
- I want to sexually express intimacy and affection with friends (if they're interested).
- I want to feel intimacy and affection with secondary sexual partners.
Assuming that we won't find a couple with whom both I and Estrella are willing to have sex, we're left with bisexual men, couples with bi men and straight girls, and the simple swap. I nominate Needs 2 & 5 and Wants 5, 6, & 7 as my fears in this situation.
I'm scared of le swap simple because of the apparent frequency at which men drag their unenthusiastic women into the scene. This seems coercive to me (Need 2). Likewise, a slip of the tongue toward what I'm really thinking ("your cock looks delicious") will end in tragedy most times in Swingerville (Need 5).
Despite lovin' the cock myself, I strongly suspect that many claimed male bisexuals who seek out couples don't actually have much interest in men. Rather I think they feel willing to endure sex with them if it means getting some pussy out of it. This seems dishonest on their end, but more importantly, feels like selling Estrella to get my ass plugged.
I can eliminate fears regarding consent and honesty on a case-by-case basis by spending enough time with secondary partners to get to know them. However, Estrella stated that she was turned off this last go partially because she didn't like the amount of time we spent having drinks and chatting with Konrad and Susan. Likewise, I feel like this distaste for spending time with people means that I'm unlikely to have the chance to feel much or any affection or intimacy with our partners. I can cope with that, but it seems suboptimal for my mental balance. I guess I'd rather like the people with whom I have sex, not simply find them physically acceptable.
Since I believe Estrella has placed sex on the side (not involving her) out of bounds, but has consented for me to have sex with another woman in her presence, male-female couples seem the best chance if I want sex with other women. A single woman seems ridiculous on the basis of liklihood: without hiring a hooker, I can't imagine actually finding a straight woman into a threesome with Estrella and I. I imagine there're plenty of women out there into pleasing a dude with his wife, ignoring her. But, I imagine that many more couples (men) are interested in this than single women who're into it. Supply and demand.
Me and two women has never been a fantasy of mine. I like vaginal novelty as much as the next male mammal, but with no one else to distract them, what the fuck am I supposed to do with two chicks at the same time? Lesbians doing their thing has never excited me, so even if they weren't straight I can't imagine why I'd want two women. There're too many holes, and far too few cocks. I guess if it would please Estrella (and the other lady), I can imagine trading off between the two of them while the other watches. But, I'm going to get tuckered out fast.
In a similar vein, two bi dudes and two straight girls sounds a little bizarre. Are the girls going to sit back and kibbutz while we 69? Will they throw on the strapons and build a daisy chain? I guess with sufficient gear, this could be made to work. Actually, now that I think about it, this would probably be our best bet. I wonder how many of these couples actually exist. I mean, there're plenty of bi dudes cheating on their wives... but, that's not really what I want.
I have issues about people feeling left out. Active, intent watching is one thing (that's a sexual act itself). But, sipping a drink waiting for a cock to be free (and hard) doesn't sound like fun.
I've got one plausible solution that gives me most of what I both need and want, and also seems to align itself with Estrella's apparent needs. If I accept that I'm not getting any strange pussy (I can cope), it seems like we should be looking for gay couples who might like a little pussy on the side. As long as they're not of the vaginas-are-sea-serpent-habitat school of gaydom, gay men tend to be fairly accommodating of my particular constellation of sexual identity.
Not to mention, gay men are plentiful and easy.
Change of Plans
Well, as much as I might have liked it to happen, it appears that playing with Konrad and Susan is not in the cards.
They were initially out of running when Estrella admitted to me that she wasn't particularly keen on the idea of exchanging oral sex with a lady. I felt more surprised and disappointed than I probably should have. She had, prior to decided she might like to sleep with Susan, always held that she didn't like girls. However, she seemed to have had some change of heart there, and so I was very much looking forward to all sorts of fun sharing and swapping. I should have realized that the change of heart was temporary, but I didn't. So, the disappointment.
I took Estrella's statement of sexual preference, and agreed that we'd just have to be busy when they called us up. This was mainly because I believed that Estrella had led Susan on enough that it would be unfair to schedule a playdate, and then inform her that Estrella actually wasn't interested in touching her.
I reopened the conversation last night, saying that I wanted to sleep with them still, and perhaps we could work out precisely what she needed to feel enthusiastic about the situation. We determined that Estrella mostly just didn't want to go down on Susan, but might enjoy making out with a woman and playing with boobs--I have no idea her feelings on fingering a woman. So, with this straightened out, I decided to wait for Konrad to get back to us and set something up.
He text messaged me not long after the conversation, with an invitation for dinner. I started to work with Estrella about a time, but quickly noted how unenthusiastic she felt about the situation. Total and immediate turn off. So, we discussed why she didn't feel it.
It turns out that Estrella had some pretty complicated feelings about the situation. I'm not certain that I'm doing them justice, but a breakdown was something like this:
I feel really down about our prospects of happily playing with other people. Single dudes seem pretty manageable, as we've successfully pulled that off with one partner at least. But, with a single dude, there's no worry about internal dynamics of a relationship, power imbalance, or coercion. Likewise, the both of us only need to agree that one person is attractive--finding a couple where both are attractive seems way more than twice as hard.
It would be a lot easier if we were interested in simply swapping partners. It doesn't interest me as much, however, to go play with those boundaries in place. I don't feel like traditional swinging has much to offer me, other than female sexual conquests. While individuals have their own techniques, sex with a woman is roughly sex with a woman. So, aside from simple vaginal novelty, I don't feel like a pure swap adds anything over same-room-sex. I want everybody to at least have the potential to provide some sort of sexual pleasure to and derive it from everybody else. I want a libertine orgy of four people more than I want a traditional swinger's foursome.
I don't think the swingers are even really the population to look to for this sort of behavior. It's more likely to be the pansexual freaks. There aren't a lot of them in the world, and once we meet a pansexual freaky couple, I'm going to want to hang on to them. And I'm afraid that we'll get too close for Estrella to be comfortable fucking them.
They were initially out of running when Estrella admitted to me that she wasn't particularly keen on the idea of exchanging oral sex with a lady. I felt more surprised and disappointed than I probably should have. She had, prior to decided she might like to sleep with Susan, always held that she didn't like girls. However, she seemed to have had some change of heart there, and so I was very much looking forward to all sorts of fun sharing and swapping. I should have realized that the change of heart was temporary, but I didn't. So, the disappointment.
I took Estrella's statement of sexual preference, and agreed that we'd just have to be busy when they called us up. This was mainly because I believed that Estrella had led Susan on enough that it would be unfair to schedule a playdate, and then inform her that Estrella actually wasn't interested in touching her.
I reopened the conversation last night, saying that I wanted to sleep with them still, and perhaps we could work out precisely what she needed to feel enthusiastic about the situation. We determined that Estrella mostly just didn't want to go down on Susan, but might enjoy making out with a woman and playing with boobs--I have no idea her feelings on fingering a woman. So, with this straightened out, I decided to wait for Konrad to get back to us and set something up.
He text messaged me not long after the conversation, with an invitation for dinner. I started to work with Estrella about a time, but quickly noted how unenthusiastic she felt about the situation. Total and immediate turn off. So, we discussed why she didn't feel it.
It turns out that Estrella had some pretty complicated feelings about the situation. I'm not certain that I'm doing them justice, but a breakdown was something like this:
- She knew too much about them, thus bringing into play the advanced female mate-finding sexual attraction heuristics. With people about whom we know next to nothing, she can apparently operate purely on physical attraction.
- Susan didn't seem particularly into it. (I think she's just of the more reserved type.)
- She doesn't feel interested in sex unless she's actually aroused, and so doesn't feel much drive to work on finding and grooming partners. That is, our discussions about the tricks, scheduling, hanging out, etc. had no sexual charge for her, and so are just sources of strife.
- She was creeped-out/intimidated/appalled by "the chase". Specifically, she didn't find these people especially interesting on their own merits, and so the time spent as we courted them was mostly just boring.
I feel really down about our prospects of happily playing with other people. Single dudes seem pretty manageable, as we've successfully pulled that off with one partner at least. But, with a single dude, there's no worry about internal dynamics of a relationship, power imbalance, or coercion. Likewise, the both of us only need to agree that one person is attractive--finding a couple where both are attractive seems way more than twice as hard.
It would be a lot easier if we were interested in simply swapping partners. It doesn't interest me as much, however, to go play with those boundaries in place. I don't feel like traditional swinging has much to offer me, other than female sexual conquests. While individuals have their own techniques, sex with a woman is roughly sex with a woman. So, aside from simple vaginal novelty, I don't feel like a pure swap adds anything over same-room-sex. I want everybody to at least have the potential to provide some sort of sexual pleasure to and derive it from everybody else. I want a libertine orgy of four people more than I want a traditional swinger's foursome.
I don't think the swingers are even really the population to look to for this sort of behavior. It's more likely to be the pansexual freaks. There aren't a lot of them in the world, and once we meet a pansexual freaky couple, I'm going to want to hang on to them. And I'm afraid that we'll get too close for Estrella to be comfortable fucking them.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Anticipation and Satisfaction
We haven't heard back from Konrad and Susan. I actually thought we'd hear from them Saturday, but perhaps that was just wishful thinking. Should we call them? I definitely think I'm delaying that until later in the week. If I haven't heard from them by, say, Thursday, I'll ring them up.
In other news, I'm not sure that tonight is masturbation night. Let me tell you why.
Estrella gives great head. Historically, however, she's given lousy blowjobs. That is, while I find the sensations unbearably pleasurable, they lacked the necessary rhythm and speed to actually get me off. This didn't stem from a lack of skill or knowledge, but rather from differing objectives, as I discovered when I asked why she never sucked me off. She said that she prefers when I come inside her.
About a week or so ago, I raised with her a grievance. Specifically, that I worked very hard to give her a great variety of orgasms, and that I would like to enjoy the same treatment. I told her that I would like the occasional handjob, blowjob, footjob, potatojob, or whatever noveltyjob she might invent, and that she carry that x-job to climax. I told her that she was welcome to place it wherever she might like in the sequence of events during sex, even after she'd shagged me for a while--if I came while fucking her, no harm no foul.
She looked startled for a moment, then hurt for a millisecond, then attentive as we talked. Then she grinned winningly and said that she could totally do that.
Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, she can totally do that.
In the past week, I've come twice in her mouth. This beats the preceding two months combined. Before you sex-positive, orgasm-crazed freaks cry "dereliction of marital duties" on my dear Estrella, it should be noted that I have not lacked for oral-genital contact, I promise. And now it appears unlikely that I'll lack in orgasms from it either.
The first mouthful was either the night of that conversation or the night after. Since she isn't fond of the taste of her own vaginal secretions, she doesn't normally let me put it in her mouth after it's been in her pussy. However, there's an exception to this rule, of which I was ignorant: toweling the girl-spooge off my junk bed-side is considered sufficient ablution. So, after a long shag and a quick wipedown, I mounted her face and fucked her mouth and throat. Spectacular.
And then last night. The title of this post comes in here: I'm still satisfied. Since pasta gets awful nasty if it's boiled too long, she was on a time limit. Nearly prototypical position: me sitting and partially reclined on the edge of a table in a bathrobe; Estrella on her knees on a pillow, her arms down at her sides, completely clothed. The orgasm was phenomenal, but not the main attraction.
See, she'd already turned the prolonged, sug-orgasmic blowjob into a science. She can keep me writhing in terrible pleasure for as long as she likes, and frequently does, just an iota away from filling her mouth. And so it was no laughing matter when she adapted the same techniques to the goal of tasting come. It was much the same excellent application of suction and tongue, the timed tensing and relaxing of jaws and throat, the bobbing of head. But, stroke for stroke, bob for bob, what she normally does to me for ten minutes, she compressed down into about three.
On the other hand, having vividly remembered this exemplar of blowjobs in order to explain why I wouldn't be jerking off, I think I've pretty much ensured that I'm going to have to jerk off. And maybe Estrella won't be exhausted when she gets home.
Also, via Digg, a lovely piece about feminist porn and porn and feminism. This is what I want! I want porn with people of all descriptions enjoying the sex. I like youporn for this reason, truth be told. They don't really have a lot of diversity in terms of what people are doing, but they have great diversity of people doing it.
Mmmm... youporn.
In other news, I'm not sure that tonight is masturbation night. Let me tell you why.
Estrella gives great head. Historically, however, she's given lousy blowjobs. That is, while I find the sensations unbearably pleasurable, they lacked the necessary rhythm and speed to actually get me off. This didn't stem from a lack of skill or knowledge, but rather from differing objectives, as I discovered when I asked why she never sucked me off. She said that she prefers when I come inside her.
About a week or so ago, I raised with her a grievance. Specifically, that I worked very hard to give her a great variety of orgasms, and that I would like to enjoy the same treatment. I told her that I would like the occasional handjob, blowjob, footjob, potatojob, or whatever noveltyjob she might invent, and that she carry that x-job to climax. I told her that she was welcome to place it wherever she might like in the sequence of events during sex, even after she'd shagged me for a while--if I came while fucking her, no harm no foul.
She looked startled for a moment, then hurt for a millisecond, then attentive as we talked. Then she grinned winningly and said that she could totally do that.
Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, she can totally do that.
In the past week, I've come twice in her mouth. This beats the preceding two months combined. Before you sex-positive, orgasm-crazed freaks cry "dereliction of marital duties" on my dear Estrella, it should be noted that I have not lacked for oral-genital contact, I promise. And now it appears unlikely that I'll lack in orgasms from it either.
The first mouthful was either the night of that conversation or the night after. Since she isn't fond of the taste of her own vaginal secretions, she doesn't normally let me put it in her mouth after it's been in her pussy. However, there's an exception to this rule, of which I was ignorant: toweling the girl-spooge off my junk bed-side is considered sufficient ablution. So, after a long shag and a quick wipedown, I mounted her face and fucked her mouth and throat. Spectacular.
And then last night. The title of this post comes in here: I'm still satisfied. Since pasta gets awful nasty if it's boiled too long, she was on a time limit. Nearly prototypical position: me sitting and partially reclined on the edge of a table in a bathrobe; Estrella on her knees on a pillow, her arms down at her sides, completely clothed. The orgasm was phenomenal, but not the main attraction.
See, she'd already turned the prolonged, sug-orgasmic blowjob into a science. She can keep me writhing in terrible pleasure for as long as she likes, and frequently does, just an iota away from filling her mouth. And so it was no laughing matter when she adapted the same techniques to the goal of tasting come. It was much the same excellent application of suction and tongue, the timed tensing and relaxing of jaws and throat, the bobbing of head. But, stroke for stroke, bob for bob, what she normally does to me for ten minutes, she compressed down into about three.
On the other hand, having vividly remembered this exemplar of blowjobs in order to explain why I wouldn't be jerking off, I think I've pretty much ensured that I'm going to have to jerk off. And maybe Estrella won't be exhausted when she gets home.
Also, via Digg, a lovely piece about feminist porn and porn and feminism. This is what I want! I want porn with people of all descriptions enjoying the sex. I like youporn for this reason, truth be told. They don't really have a lot of diversity in terms of what people are doing, but they have great diversity of people doing it.
Mmmm... youporn.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Best Part
Estrella, somehow, managed to leave out the best part of last night.
After we'd decided to head home, we stood on the street for a few minutes saying goodbye. We discussed when we might meet again, and renewed our expressions of interest. Then, we kissed goodnight.
I haven't kissed a guy in years. The kiss started out as a peck on the cheek, European style. It pretty rapidly changed as we sought each other's lips. Very soft lips--far softer than I'd imagined. Konrad was yummy. He claimed to have gotten an erection. If it'd gone on much longer, I no doubt would have joined him.
And while she'll have to tell you about it at some point, Estrella kissed Susan.
After we'd decided to head home, we stood on the street for a few minutes saying goodbye. We discussed when we might meet again, and renewed our expressions of interest. Then, we kissed goodnight.
I haven't kissed a guy in years. The kiss started out as a peck on the cheek, European style. It pretty rapidly changed as we sought each other's lips. Very soft lips--far softer than I'd imagined. Konrad was yummy. He claimed to have gotten an erection. If it'd gone on much longer, I no doubt would have joined him.
And while she'll have to tell you about it at some point, Estrella kissed Susan.
Last night, at the bar
Oscar and I went to a bar in the city last night to meet up with Susan and Konrad, a couple who responded to our ad on Craigslist. They wanted to meet us before anything would happen, and stipulated that they do not take people home with them on the first night. Oscar and I waited with a bit of nervousness, tempered by the fact that it is no longer our first time meeting up with someone who we want to fuck. It's a bit like dating again, something neither of us have participated in for several years.
The bar was packed but we found some rather cramped seats near the entrance and ordered some drinks. We finally obtained two seats at the bar, and soon after, Konrad and Susan made their entrance. Both of them are several years older than us, and live in a neighborhood adjacent to ours. Susan is a tall redhead with a beautiful body, and as she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, I could smell some kind of intoxicating perfume on her pale skin. She was wearing a black knitted tunic-style garment that was alluringly transparent over her stomach. Konrad was stylish but casual, and had long dreadlocks. They were both looked at ease and immediately began greeting the many patrons of the bar they knew. We had one round of drinks, but I felt awkward with them standing up and us sitting down. We moved to another part of the bar that was quieter and a lot less crowded.
Our conversation seemed a bit strained at first, with long pauses. It was also made difficult as Konrad got up several times to greet more patrons. When he was at the table, he tended to dominate the conversation, but not in an overly vexing manner. It was slightly easier to talk to Susan when he was roaming about. I immediately felt an attraction to Susan, not just in a friendly sense, but sexually. I was very surprised by this reaction. I have dated a woman in my teenage years, and kissed/groped many, but I have never felt that I am truly bisexual. I know I have a strong attraction to males in general, and also F2M transexuals (or, trannie bois as I refer to them). I think my feelings towards Susan were amplified by her slightly masculine nature. She is most certainly an extremely feminine person, but certain aspects of her personality had a definite tinge of male-ness.
My attraction to Konrad was not quite as immediate, but he soon showed himself to be quite an endearing person. He is very outgoing and blunt, qualities that I appreciate. As the alcohol flowed, all four of us became rather more physically close to each other. At one point I went to the restroom, and it happened that Konrad was on the way as well. He pulled me aside and asked how we felt, as he expressed that both he and Susan were very interested in us. I am still slightly confused by what etiquette one employs while still in the "feeling each other out" stage, so I just said that we felt the same way, and that was that. However, once I had actually entered the bathroom, I had a quick fantasy of Konrad waiting for me to exit and kissing me passionately. It did not occur, of course, but that mental flash set the tone for the rest of the evening.
At last call, I found myself alone at the bar for a few minutes with Konrad. We discussed our sexual proclivities, including preferences and limits. Neither of us seem to have any limits. He reiterated his and Susan's interest in us, and I did the same. They promised to be in contact with us soon, and hoped to see us for some more intimate fun, perhaps at one of our places. I am eagerly anticipating that next meeting.
The bar was packed but we found some rather cramped seats near the entrance and ordered some drinks. We finally obtained two seats at the bar, and soon after, Konrad and Susan made their entrance. Both of them are several years older than us, and live in a neighborhood adjacent to ours. Susan is a tall redhead with a beautiful body, and as she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, I could smell some kind of intoxicating perfume on her pale skin. She was wearing a black knitted tunic-style garment that was alluringly transparent over her stomach. Konrad was stylish but casual, and had long dreadlocks. They were both looked at ease and immediately began greeting the many patrons of the bar they knew. We had one round of drinks, but I felt awkward with them standing up and us sitting down. We moved to another part of the bar that was quieter and a lot less crowded.
Our conversation seemed a bit strained at first, with long pauses. It was also made difficult as Konrad got up several times to greet more patrons. When he was at the table, he tended to dominate the conversation, but not in an overly vexing manner. It was slightly easier to talk to Susan when he was roaming about. I immediately felt an attraction to Susan, not just in a friendly sense, but sexually. I was very surprised by this reaction. I have dated a woman in my teenage years, and kissed/groped many, but I have never felt that I am truly bisexual. I know I have a strong attraction to males in general, and also F2M transexuals (or, trannie bois as I refer to them). I think my feelings towards Susan were amplified by her slightly masculine nature. She is most certainly an extremely feminine person, but certain aspects of her personality had a definite tinge of male-ness.
My attraction to Konrad was not quite as immediate, but he soon showed himself to be quite an endearing person. He is very outgoing and blunt, qualities that I appreciate. As the alcohol flowed, all four of us became rather more physically close to each other. At one point I went to the restroom, and it happened that Konrad was on the way as well. He pulled me aside and asked how we felt, as he expressed that both he and Susan were very interested in us. I am still slightly confused by what etiquette one employs while still in the "feeling each other out" stage, so I just said that we felt the same way, and that was that. However, once I had actually entered the bathroom, I had a quick fantasy of Konrad waiting for me to exit and kissing me passionately. It did not occur, of course, but that mental flash set the tone for the rest of the evening.
At last call, I found myself alone at the bar for a few minutes with Konrad. We discussed our sexual proclivities, including preferences and limits. Neither of us seem to have any limits. He reiterated his and Susan's interest in us, and I did the same. They promised to be in contact with us soon, and hoped to see us for some more intimate fun, perhaps at one of our places. I am eagerly anticipating that next meeting.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A Date Tomorrow
Estrella and I have a date tomorrow evening with a couple not named Konrad and Susan. We found them on craigslist. They're absolutely gorgeous.
I've probably jinxed us. But, dayum.
I've probably jinxed us. But, dayum.
Masturbation Night
Every Tuesday and Thursday is my masturbation night. Estrella works late these nights, and comes home so exhausted that sex is generally out of the question. While I guess that I could feel disappointed to be deprived of nookie twice a week, I actually feel thankful for it.
I would say that under normal circumstances, I get at best two orgasms per day. Abnormal circumstances include freak hormone surges, group play, and when the scene we're playing requires more semen than two orgasms might produce. But, usually, two is the max. And most of the time, one is about all I can handle.
If I jerk off when Estrella is available, I feel like I'm denying her sex. I feel like she wants sex as much as I do and enjoys it as much (if not more). Since I have a limited number of orgasms to offer on any given day, it feels selfish to spend what has a pretty good chance of being my sole orgasm pleasuring myself. However, Estrella's occasional work-induced abstinence saves me from the feelings of guilt I have at depriving her of my precious bodily fluids.
Tonight the plan is to go home and get naked immediately. I'll probably have a smoke as I fire up the web browser and hit Literotica. I usually prefer stories to visual stimulation. As Holly pointed out in the post I linked below, there's plenty to hate about porn.
But, I really prefer erotica to porn because I'm such a verbal, linguistic person. Certainly, reproduced captured photons of a nice, smooth cock sliding into a wet, dripping cunt does evoke arousal. But, the words I just used to describe it get me way more excited than the picture itself ever would.
I remember, as a pubescent boy, masturbating to unillustrated sex ed handouts and encyclopedia entries.
I would say that under normal circumstances, I get at best two orgasms per day. Abnormal circumstances include freak hormone surges, group play, and when the scene we're playing requires more semen than two orgasms might produce. But, usually, two is the max. And most of the time, one is about all I can handle.
If I jerk off when Estrella is available, I feel like I'm denying her sex. I feel like she wants sex as much as I do and enjoys it as much (if not more). Since I have a limited number of orgasms to offer on any given day, it feels selfish to spend what has a pretty good chance of being my sole orgasm pleasuring myself. However, Estrella's occasional work-induced abstinence saves me from the feelings of guilt I have at depriving her of my precious bodily fluids.
Tonight the plan is to go home and get naked immediately. I'll probably have a smoke as I fire up the web browser and hit Literotica. I usually prefer stories to visual stimulation. As Holly pointed out in the post I linked below, there's plenty to hate about porn.
But, I really prefer erotica to porn because I'm such a verbal, linguistic person. Certainly, reproduced captured photons of a nice, smooth cock sliding into a wet, dripping cunt does evoke arousal. But, the words I just used to describe it get me way more excited than the picture itself ever would.
I remember, as a pubescent boy, masturbating to unillustrated sex ed handouts and encyclopedia entries.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Things to hate about porn
Holly over at Pervocracy has a list of things to hate in porn. She's spot on with it.
The rampant racism in mainstream American porn has irritated me frequently. It especially drives me nuts when they say "interracial" but mean "black dude and white chick". And aside from "interracial", your only other choice for ethnic diversity in porn is white dudes with Asian chicks. Occasionally, I'll see other ethnicities represented in soft-core, and sometimes there are big stars who aren't white, but most of the time it's just chemically tanned crackers with plastic knockers.
The rampant racism in mainstream American porn has irritated me frequently. It especially drives me nuts when they say "interracial" but mean "black dude and white chick". And aside from "interracial", your only other choice for ethnic diversity in porn is white dudes with Asian chicks. Occasionally, I'll see other ethnicities represented in soft-core, and sometimes there are big stars who aren't white, but most of the time it's just chemically tanned crackers with plastic knockers.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
We Got Linked!
So, apparently Penelope over at Married Exploits has linked to us. I'm pretty stoked about that. I've been reading Married Exploits for a couple months now.
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